Dr Charlotte Russell, Clinical Psychologist & Founder
Travel can be an enriching experience, offering opportunities for self-discovery, adventure, and connection. But many people face a dilemma about whether to travel solo or with friends. Each of these has different psychological benefits, but how do you know which is right for you? In this article I’m going to talk you through considerations to make when answering that question.
The psychological benefits of solo travel
Solo travel is a journey inward as much as it is outward. It provides a rare opportunity for self-reflection, independence, and personal growth. We’ve written a lot about this topic including Dr Jenna’s wonderful article about the psychological benefits of travelling alone, which remains one of most popular posts ever. To summarise, here are some key benefits of solo travel:
1. Boosts confidence & independence
When you travel solo, every decision from choosing accommodations to navigating public transport, is yours alone to make. This fosters independence and improves problem-solving skills, making you more self-reliant and adaptable in different situations. Solo travel builds confidence by teaching you that you can navigate situations that you previously would have found difficult or overwhelming.
2. Encourages self discovery
When you are not around people and places that are familiar, it is much easier to tune into yourself and how you really feel. To put this another way, when we are not hooked in to pur usual relationship patterns and demands we are freer to be who we are. The combination of this and having to navigate new situations can help you to become more self-aware.
As an example on my first solo trip I was struck by how comfortable I was spending time alone. I knew from a young age that I am an introvert, but being alone helped me to realise just how relaxed it made me feel to be alone most of the time. I’d never quite noticed the background level of stress that I experienced just being with other people most of the time through university and work.
Every person’s reflections and insights will be different. It is important to approach your learning with kindness and acceptance rather than judgement. See this with an attitude of feeling excited about getting to know yourself. Remember that we are human beings and we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
To take my example, I could spend my whole life wishing that I was more extroverted and charismatic. This would leave me feeling very stressed and inadequate! Instead I’ve worked to accept who I am (which is a process and doesn’t happen overnight), and embrace it. This has included seeing my strengths and weaknesses in a balanced way, rather than with judgment.
3. Greater flexibility & freedom
Solo travel allows you to follow your own schedule without compromising. Whether you want to wake up early for a sunrise hike or wander aimlessly through a historic district, the choice is entirely yours. We don’t often get this level of freedom in everyday life, so it’s nice to experience it at least once.
4. Solo travel can be a more mindful experience
When you travel solo you undoubtably take more in. You spend more time observing the setting and also how you feel. This can lead to more learning and personal growth. It can also mean aspects of solo travel can feed into a sense of calm. Of course there will be moments where you have to navigate situations yourself which feel stressful. However most of the time when you are exploring you can really tune into just ‘being’ rather than doing. We know that mindfulness has many psychological benefits and travelling solo can help you to become more mindful.
5. Strengthens social skills
While traveling alone, it is necessary to communicate and seek information from other people, sometimes in a different language. This can feel overwhelming but is a great way to increase our confidence and build on our social skills. If you struggle with this, see my guide on travelling solo with social anxiety which talks you through how you can prepare yourself for a solo trip.
The psychological benefits of travelling with friends
On the other hand, travelling with friends is an opportunity for shared experiences, deeper bonding, and emotional support. Here’s the main benefits of travelling with friends:
1. Strengthens your connection
Shared travel experiences often strengthen friendships, creating lasting memories that enhance your connection with others. It’s no surprise that having positive experiences together makes us feel closer to one another.
2. Helps us to build trust with one another
When travelling with friends we have to compromise, support each other and work together towards the shared goal of having a great time. This provides a brilliant opportunity to build trust within the relationship. We know that having supportive and trusting relationships is consistently one of th best predictors of well-being. This means that as well as having fun, you are building a relationship that can help support you through the more difficult times that life will inevitably throw at you.
3. Allows you to savour quiet moments together
In the solo travel section I talked about how travelling alone can be more mindful, as it means we take in the environment without distractions. When it comes to travelling with friends, we can still have that same sense of ‘being’ rather than doing, which can be great for our well-being.
Picture sitting and having a chilled evening with your bestie just watching the sun go down. I don’t mean sitting in Café del Mar with a drink and taking photos (which I’m not against, but it’s not what I’m talking about here). It’s those moments when we just sit quietly and take it all in. The research tells us that it’s these kinds of moments that can help to strengthen our friendship.
4. Provides a sense of security
Safety is a key concern while traveling and being with friends reduces risks and increases our sense of safety. Whether navigating unfamiliar streets or dealing with unexpected situations, traveling with a friend or in a group fosters a sense of security.
This sense of security can also reduce anxiety and help you to feel safer and calmer when dealing with problems and challenges.
5. Encourages shared growth & learning
Friends offer different perspectives that shape your experiences. Whether they introduce you to new cuisines, challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, or help you see a destination differently, travelling together helps you to learn together.
As an example, sometimes our interests differ from those of our friends. This can provide an opportunity to something different or at the edge of your comfort zone. Trying something new with someone we trust can have numerous benefits including for our curiosity and psychological flexibility. Even if you try the new activity and you conclude that it is not your cup of tea, this is part of the process of getting to know yourself. It is important to try and make the best of the activity, even if you think it isn’t for you.
Which type of travel is right for you?
There are brilliant benefits to travelling alone and with friends. The choice of which one is right for you depends on a number of things. I’ll cover each of these in this section.
So I’ve listed the potential benefits of solo travel, but big caveat is that you have to be ready enough to travel solo in order to gain these benefits. They say life begins at the edge of your comfort zone and I agree with this, but it shouldn’t be so far out of your comfort zone that you spend the whole time feeling anxious and uncomfortable. To successfully manage solo travel you need to already be comfortable with spending time alone and navigating situations yourself. If you’re not there yet and you want to travel solo, spend some time travelling more locally to home and building your confidence with speaking to strangers. We wrote more about this graded approach our previous articles travelling solo with social anxiety and eating alone while travelling solo.
There are practical considerations here too. To travel with friends, you each need to be available and have the funds at the same time. Many people choose to travel solo because they want to travel and their friends aren’t available or have other life priorities.
If your friends are available but you aren’t sure about whether you want to travel with them or travel solo, think about what it is that you want from your trip. Maybe you are at the planning stage with friends, but it is becoming evident that you want different things from your trip. Maybe you want to backpack around Southeast Asia and stay at hostels, maybe they come from a more well-off background and want a bougee trip. This would be a sign that there is incompatibility here. If your main aim is to have fun and strengthen your bond with your friend then this may be resolvable. For more on this, see our guide to planning a trip with friends.
However, if your aim is about getting to know yourself more deeply and growing as a person then solo travel might be a better option for your goals.
Your friend’s personality and behaviour are also important factors in your decision making. If you are considering travelling with someone, you probably know them well and have spent time together. Do you get along consistently? How do they behave in situations that are challenging? Are they consistently supportive of you? These are important questions to ask and I wrote more about this, including red flags, in How do I get along with my friends on vacation?
To summarise all of this, here are some green flags for each type of travel.
Green flags for travel solo
- You feel comfortable spending time alone
- Your mental health is stable and you have coping strategies that work for you
- You want to grow as a person and are ready for self-discovery
- You have funds and time available
- You are aware of the things that you might struggle with and have thought about how you will manage them
Green flags for travelling with friends
- You have a supportive relationship
- You enjoy spending time together and want to strengthen your connection
- You can work together and communicate when problems arise
- You are ‘in each other’s corner’ and have mutual trust
- You are aligned in terms of your hopes and expectations for the trip, or are willing and able to negotiate
- You are both/all available and have funds to travel
- You are aware of each other’s strengths and struggles and where you may need to support each other.
Conclusion
So taking this all into account let me summarise.
Travelling alone can have many benefits in terms of personal growth and confidence. It is essentially about strengthening your relationship with yourself. It’s a great option if you know what you want, and where you want to travel, and don’t want to compromise. But you have to be ready and able to navigate challenges alone to reap the benefits that solo travel can bring.
Travelling with friends is a great way to have fun and to bond. It is essentially about strengthening your relationship with each other. This is hugely beneficial for us psychologically because having close relationships can help us navigate the trial and tribulations of life. However, who you choose to travel with is crucially important. Relationships that have trust and are mutually supportive can thrive from travelling together. On the other hand, travelling with friends who are unsupportive and where there is not shared trust is not a good recipe for success.
