Dr Charlotte Russell, Clinical Psychologist & Founder
If you love to travel, you have probably had or are thinking of having a milestone trip. This might be to celebrate a big birthday, completing a qualification, a honeymoon or special anniversary trip. As I approach my 40th birthday and a special trip, this topic has been on my mind! In this article I’m going to share how milestone travel can help us to mark these important occasions and why this is beneficial for us psychologically.
What are the benefits of celebrating milestones?
Savouring
Savouring is a term used in positive psychology to describe behaviours we use to appreciate an experience. It often involves simple gestures that help us to mark a positive experience. Examples in my own life include clapping along at the end of every yoga class I attend and clapping at the end when I’ve really enjoyed a TV programme (yes I actually do this!).
Milestone travel is a great way of savouring because it allows us to savour in multiple ways. As we are booking, planning and anticipating our trip we are savouring future experiences. We are looking forward to the sights, activities and food! As we embark on our trip, we are savouring the present and marking the occasion. When we return home we can look back on these experiences with joy.
It’s good for our self-worth
Investing time, effort and money in celebrating and marking a special occasion is a signal to ourselves and others that we or they matter. It is a way of showing that we are important and that we deserve to have nice experiences.
These experiences do not have to be indulgent or involve spending beyond your means. What is important is that the experience is unusual and memorable for you.
Marking milestones helps us to make transitions
Milestone trips can help us to positively enter the next stage of our lives, whether it’s embarking on a honeymoon to start married life or having a trip to mark becoming qualified in your profession. If you are reaching a milestone birthday such as 21 or the big 5-0 you are entering a new stage in your life. Milestone celebrations can help us to mark these occasions and begin the new stage on a positive footing.
Help us to strengthen connections
Celebrating our friends and family members when they reach a milestone is an important way to show up for them. Investing our time, energy and money in celebrating a milestone shows the person that they are important to us, that we value them and that we’re proud of them. Consistently showing up for each other in this way builds trust. This is important for getting us through the more challenging times that life will inevitably throw at us.
How to make the most of milestone travel
Keep the following in mind when planning your milestone trip:
Making your trip special
If you have followed the blog for a while, you will probably know that I travel fairly often. If there is one thing that I’ve learned about milestone travel, it’s that your special trip should be memorable and unique for you.
It might be that the destination is a particularly special one, you upgrade on what you usually do or you have a multi-stop trip, Visiting several different destinations can be particularly memorable because you get to experience different places and there is a sense of adventure that comes from multiple stops.
If you are short of time or budget, think about how you can do something that feels special within the constraints you are working with. As an example I celebrated my 30th birthday in the final year of my doctorate and so I couldn’t take a lot of time off. Instead, me and Mr Travel Psychologist hopped over to Madrid for a short city break. We made this more special by upgrading on our usual hotel level and by going to Corral de la Moreira, a famous Flamenco bar. I will never forget how blown away I was by the performance and how special and memorable it was to celebrate in this way.
Avoiding social comparisons
A milestone trip has to be special and memorable for you and your travel companions. It is important to avoid social comparisons because this trip is about you and not them!
You may have seen influencers who have spent their 30th flying first class and staying at the Shangri-La. This would be nice, of course, but is not realistic for most of us and it is absolutely not necessary to make your experience special.
Comparing ourselves to others can take the shine off our special trip. If you find yourself doing this remind yourself “They are having their special trip and I’m having mine. Everyone is different”.
Savouring
You can be intentional in helping yourself to savour your trip. At the planning stage, think about how you can make planning enjoyable. This might involve having some food or drink from the country you are visiting while you are sitting on your laptop and booking things! As an example, me and Mr Travel Psychologist went out for tacos and margaritas when we decided on the destination for my 40th.. This is a big clue to where we’re going!
Be intentional in savouring the experience when you are on your special trip. Take lots of photos and spend time taking in the moment. Tune in to what you are feeling when you are there. These experiences can really stick with you. I wrote more about this in my previous article Beaches, benches and nature: travel and our sense of calm
When you return home think about how you can look back on your experiences with joy. For some this will involve making a photo album either digitally or physically. Some people might even write a blog post. There is no right or wrong as to whether you should share your photos as everyone is different. For more information check out my previous article Should I share my travel photos on social media?
Healthy and adaptive transitions
Preparing ourselves psychologically for milestones is important in making transitions in a healthy and adaptive way. As an example, in the lead up to my 40th birthday I have been thinking about what these means for me and what I might expect as I reach a new decade. It has made me think about how I will look after myself as I am getting older, and what changes I might need to make to achieve this.
Similarly on the run up to a wedding and honeymoon we are preparing for the transition to married life. This helps us to reflect on what might be different. All change includes positives and negatives and it is healthy to acknowledge and help ourselves to adjust to this.
When it comes to big birthdays, people sometimes say ‘age is just a number’ and this is probably meant with good intentions. It is not that helpful though for making transitions optimally. It feeds into avoidant coping which we know is not helpful for us.
Milestone travel helps us to mark these transitions in a way that feels meaningful to us. It also helps us to begin the new stage in our life on a positive.
When it comes to your milestone, spend some time thinking about what might be different for you when you have reached the milestone. Think about what you might find inspiring and exciting in the new phase. Also think about what the challenges might be but not in a catastrophic way of thinking the worst. More in the way of acknowledging that new phases always come with challenges, but with the knowing that you will find a way to manage these.
It can also help to think about any previous transitions you have made. What were the things that helped you to transition positively? What are the strengths that will carry you through?
Think about these questions well in the lead up to your milestone trip. When you are on your trip, focus on relaxing and celebrating.
Strengthening connections
Your special trip should be spent with the people who you care about and those who consistently show up for you. For specific advice on making the most of travelling with others see our Travel and relationships section.
Where should we travel for a milestone trip?
Where you travel and what kind of trip you take depends on a few factors including your personal preferences, the season and of course your budget.
Ideally milestone trips involve going to those places that you’ve always wanted to go to but just haven’t had the opportunity yet. Did you dream about going to the Caribbean when you were growing up? Have you always wanted to see a Koala bear? Think about what is meaningful to you rather than what everyone else is doing.
As milestone trips are usually more expensive than regular vacations, it is sensible to start planning well in advance. This allows you to set a realistic budget and to set money aside each month so that you can ensure that the trip is affordable.
Seasonality is another factor to consider. Having a November birthday means that I am never going to be celebrating with a beach holiday in Europe. Thinking about what you want for your trip will help you to narrow down the options available within the season you are travelling.
What if I can’t celebrate a milestone by travelling?
Sometimes our life circumstances get in the way of being able to celebrate in the way that we would want to. Covid certainly taught us that, and speaking personally I had a milestone trip cancelled during this time. If you do have something going in your life on that will get in the way, don’t fret.
One way of managing this is to postpone the trip and celebrations until you’re in a place where they are more feasible.
Another way to manage is to scale down the celebrations. Yes this article is about milestone travel, because this is a travel and psychology blog. However travelling is not necessary to mark a milestone and you can gain all of the benefits of celebrating milestones in other ways, without needing to travel at all. The main thing is to do something that you want to do that will be different and memorable for you.
Summary
Milestone travel can help us to mark special occasions, savour the experience, make healthy and adaptive transitions and strengthen our connections. It is important to plan the right trip for you and to avoid unhelpful social comparisons.
Most of all, enjoy your trip. You deserve it!